Grief Isn’t Linear—So Stop Pretending It Should Be

August is National Grief Awareness Month, but honestly? Grief doesn’t give a damn what month it is. It shows up uninvited, overstays its welcome, and refuses to follow your timeline, your religion, or your “at least they’re in a better place” clichés.

We treat grief like something we should “get over”—like it’s a cold. But it’s not. It’s a permanent rewire of your reality. Whether it’s the death of a loved one, the loss of a relationship, or mourning who you were before an illness or trauma—grief doesn’t care if you’re “trying to be strong.”

It just is. And it deserves more than whispered condolences and Hallmark quotes.

What Grief Really Looks Like

Forget the five tidy stages. Real grief is a chaotic loop. You might be fine one minute and sobbing the next because a cereal box reminded you of someone. It’s messy. It’s personal. And it’s not up for debate.

Grief can look like:

• Anger, guilt, numbness—or all three in the same day

• Forgetting why you walked into a room

• Laughing during the eulogy, crying in the grocery store

• Being okay for months, then breaking down years later

There’s no right way to mourn. No checklist. No expiration date. And definitely no “getting back to normal”—because that version of normal doesn’t exist anymore.

When Grief Breaks You Down

Let me be real: I crashed after losing my dad. Not in some poetic way—I crashed. I could barely function. I couldn’t focus. I was snapping at people, bursting into tears in public, barely eating, then bingeing at 3 a.m.

I needed therapy. I needed medication. I needed to admit that I wasn’t okay and probably wouldn’t be for a long time. Grief wasn’t something I could tough out. It was something I had to face.

There’s no shame in breaking down. The real harm is pretending you’re fine when your world has imploded.

The Black Ribbon: A Silent Shout

Black has always been a color of mourning. But the black ribbon? That’s a symbol of respect. For the person lost—and for the person still carrying that loss.

When you wear a black ribbon pin, you’re saying: “Grief lives here. It’s real. And I see it—in myself or in someone else.”

You’re making invisible pain visible. And that matters.

Who Needs Grief Awareness?

Spoiler alert: Everyone.

• The woman who lost her partner a decade ago but still talks to his picture.

• The parent grieving a miscarriage no one else acknowledges.

• The person mourning estranged family or friends they can’t explain.

• Survivors of illness, assault, trauma, war—grieving the version of themselves that didn’t survive.

• Anyone dealing with anticipatory grief, caring for someone terminally ill.

Grief isn’t just about death. It’s about loss. And every human will carry some kind of loss in their lifetime.

How to Actually Support Someone Grieving

People say the dumbest things when they’re uncomfortable. Don’t be one of them.

🌟 Say their name
Mentioning the person who died doesn’t “remind” them—they never forgot.

🌟 Don’t disappear after the funeral
Grief doesn’t wrap up after casseroles and thank-you notes. Check in months later.

🌟 Ditch the platitudes
No more “everything happens for a reason” or “at least you had time to say goodbye.” Stop. Just. Stop.

🌟 Be there. Fully. Quietly.
Sometimes just sitting with someone in their grief is more powerful than any words.

🌟 Wear the ribbon
It’s a small gesture that says “I get it.” It opens the door to deeper conversations without forcing anything.

Organizations That Actually Get Grief

We’re not affiliated, but if you want to send people somewhere that won’t drown them in pity or bad theology, start here:

• The Dougy Center – Safe spaces and free resources for grieving children and families.

• Modern Loss – Raw, real, non-patronizing stories and tools for dealing with grief in all forms.

• GriefShare – Faith-based support groups in local communities for those who want it.

The Grief Awareness Collection: Small Symbols, Big Impact

Our black ribbon pins aren’t flashy. They’re not meant to be. They’re intentional. A soft, strong way to say, “I carry grief, or I honor yours.”

Black Ribbon Enamel Pin
Simple. Bold. Subtle power for everyday remembrance.

Black Glitter Heart Pin
For those who carry their grief with grace and a little glow.

These are more than accessories. They’re conversation starters, grief acknowledgements, and little reminders that no one has to carry loss alone.

Let’s Stop Hiding Grief in the Dark

Grief isn’t awkward. Avoiding it is. We need to talk about it—openly, honestly, messily. Not just in August. Always.

So wear the ribbon. Say their name. Be present. And stop expecting people to be “over it.”

Because no one really is. And that’s okay.